Change
by springchild
Summary: Pam takes a chance and spends a day with Jim behind Roy's back. All she wants is to see if there really is something there. Set during/after "Basketball".
1. Chapter 1

_Note: I do not own anything concerning The Office or Disney or anything of the sort. I am but a lowly college student writing this in her spare time._

So that was it. Michael had just said that no one needed to come in that weekend, meaning she would be going to the lake with Roy and Jim would be…well, not with her. It was strange. Even though his offer to meet her at the outlet mall was probably just part of their trash-talking joke, she still felt a flutter of disappointment that it was no longer even an option. "Well," she thought, trying to pull herself out of the glum, "it wouldn't have happened anyway. Now at least there's a reason for it."

That night, she listened as Roy made plans with his brother, Kenny, over the phone. At least he sounded animated about the trip. She, however, knew better. Whenever Kenny came, she knew she could look forward to a "fun" day on the beach by herself. That is, until the guys came in for lunch, which she will have made and laid out. Then it would be up to her to clean up while they went back out on the wave-runners or played football or whatever. She barely held in a sigh as she thought about it. It wasn't that she didn't love Roy, she did; it was just that she always thought there would be something more. Since she seen her Disney movie as a little girl, she had just assumed that there would be this…connection. That was it. She had assumed there would be a connection with the person she married. Something strong and uncontrollable that let her know that she had made the right choice. She didn't have that with Roy. But life isn't a Disney movie.

As they lay in bed that night, Roy asked her the same question she had heard a dozen times: "Babe, do you mind if Kenny takes your wave-runner out for awhile tomorrow?" He always said it would only be for awhile but that never stuck. That was fine; Pam didn't really care much for the machines anyway. It was the feeling of abandonment that bothered her.

"Of course," she answered, the same as she always did. "I can use that time to get lunch ready."

"Awesome. Love you, Pam." And with that, Roy was asleep.

As Pam lay there, listening to Roy snore, she realized that she not only wanted things to change, she needed them to change. Actually, it was not the first time she had had this thought. She felt that she deserved at least a chance at a better life. If that didn't work out…well, then this was the way it was supposed to be. She felt bad as she found herself desperately wishing this wasn't true. When that feeling started to fade, she worked out her plan for the following day.

"Roy," she said around 8:30 the next morning, "Roy, wake up. I'm not feeling well."

"What's that, Babe?" he asked groggily.

"I said I'm not feeling well. I think I'm getting the flu or something. Phyllis was out with it earlier this week, maybe I caught something from her."

"Well, you do sound kind of sick," he responded, sounding slightly concerned. In fact, she did sound kind of sick, though it was from exhaustion. She had only gotten a couple hours of sleep the night before after coming up with this plan that was almost sad in its simplicity. "How about I stay home with you today? Take care of you." The words didn't match the disappointed tone in his voice as he looked past her out the window at the beginnings of a beautiful day.

"No, no. That's okay. You go with Kenny. I'll probably just sleep all day, try to kill it before it hits. Besides, if I am getting sick you don't want to be here anyway." She tried to make her voice sound convincing so that he would believe her and go. It didn't take much.

"Well, if you're sure. I'm just gonna get changed and take off then. Let you get some sleep." With that, he was gone.

Pam waited a half-hour after Roy had left to get up and get ready. She was so excited; she just hoped that she would have the courage to go through with it. This wasn't like every other day at the office. This would be time spent in the real world with Jim. What if someone saw her? What if Roy called to check on her? Maybe Jim wouldn't even pick up and all this worry would be for nothing. "That would almost be for the best," she thought. She couldn't let herself chicken out, though. That was her gut instinct, but she wanted change and she had realized last night that if she wanted change, she was the one that needed to make it happen.

She waited anxiously until the clock on the stove read exactly 11:00 to pick up the phone and dial the number he had given her when they first became friends, but that she had yet to use. It started to ring. Once, twice, three times. With each ring, she became more and more nervous, her head spinning and the butterflies in her stomach fluttering as if a child was chasing them. Just as she was trying to convince herself that she had tried and was about to let her instincts take over, the familiar voice came on the line.

"Hello?"

"What am I doing?" she thought as her voice said, "Hey Jim. It's Pam."

_Okay, so this is my first story ever. Please review, but keep this fact in mind. I have ideas for more of the story if people want it. Otherwise, I just wanted to try this so now that I have, if people think I should stop, don't hesitate to say so. _


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you all SO much to those of you that reviewed the last chapter. You have no idea how happy it made me! _:D_ This chapter is pretty short and for that I apologize. I just thought it was a good place for a break and you will be happy to know (I hope) that the next chapter is currently in the process of being written. Enjoy!_

"Hey Beesly." Though he tried to keep his tone light, she could tell that he was confused. She couldn't really blame him. She was kind of confused herself. "What's up?"

"Well, I remembered you mentioning going to the mall today and I was thinking that I need new shoes and since you're going to the mall and I need to go to the mall, maybe we could go together." The words came out much faster than she intended. She couldn't help it, though. She had practiced the script so many times in her head the night before, the words seemed to just fall out of her mouth. Luckily, he didn't seem to notice.

"Sure. The more the merrier, right?" He was trying to sound cool about the whole thing, but he was, in fact, thrilled at this turn of events.

"You're sure I'm not butting in? You weren't planning on going with Mark or anything, were you?"

"Actually, Mark just bailed on me to hang out with some friends of his from work. I thought you were going to the lake with Roy today?" The thing about Mark was true. What Jim didn't tell Pam was that he never really had any intention of going to the mall at all. His plans for the day had included hanging around the house in sweats and maybe balancing his checkbook. For this, though, the sweats could wait.

"Roy decided to go with his brother instead. I guess he's going through kind of a rough time right now and Roy wanted to cheer him up." Pam wasn't entirely lying. Kenny always seemed to be going through a rough patch. She just hoped Jim didn't ask what was wrong because there was nothing specific this time and she had already exhausted her creativity for the day.

"Well, his loss is my gain. Now I don't have to be one of those losers seen wandering the mall by themselves, right?. What time were you thinking?"

"Ummm…I don't know. How about one-ish?"

"Perfect. I'll meet you outside the food court at one."

She agreed, they said their good-byes and hung up. Pam couldn't believe it. Her meager plan had actually worked. Now the only problem would be waiting until one. She looked at the clock: 11:07. How was she possibly supposed to wait two hours when she was, well, so many things. Nervous, proud of herself, guilty at lying to Roy but most of all: excited. More so than she had thought possible. She was going to spend at least a few hours alone with the person she had been infatuated with since she had met him. She checked the clock again: 11:10. This was going to be a long couple of hours…

Back at his place, Jim was feeling much the same as Pam. He had daydreamed of spending a day with her for as long as he could remember. It had actually become quite distracting at times. Now she had called him and it was just all so…hard to believe. In fact, he had actually pinched himself after hanging up the phone to make sure it hadn't been a dream. Then he had set to work picking out something to wear. He was more than a little happy that Mark wasn't around to see him as he rifled through his closet, looking for something that was both nice-looking and casual; something that looked like he had just grabbed it and put it on. He laughed at himself then; he was being ridiculous. Little did he know that across town, Pam was doing the same thing.

_Again, reviews are more than welcome! I hope to have the next chapter written and posted by the end of the week. _


	3. Chapter 3

_Note: Again, I do not own and am not affiliated with anything concerning The Office or any of the stores listed below._

Finally, it was quarter to one. Pam left her house eagerly, wearing a knee-length jean skirt and white blouse. She thought that it was a little more feminine than what she normally wore to the office but not so much so as to be totally different from what he was used to seeing. After a long inner debate, she had also decided to leave her hair down.

She drove to the mall in complete silence, trying to hold back the smile that seemed stapled to her face. She found a parking spot and began to walk slowly, calmly toward the building. As she got closer to the doors, she saw him. Jim was standing just outside the entrance, wearing khaki shorts and a blue-and-white striped polo shirt. She felt another flutter of excitement as it hit her that he was waiting for _her_. A smile lit up his face when he spotted her and he held the door open for her as they entered the mall.

"So, how's it going, Pam?" He asked when they were both inside.

"Not bad. I'm ready to do some serious shopping. And yourself?"

"Pretty much the same. I guess I have to get used to shopping with a girl, though," he teased. "I haven't done that since high school."

"Don't worry. I'll start you out slow," she laughed. She was relieved that it wasn't awkward outside the safety of the office. She hadn't been sure how they would interact without Michael or Dwight constantly interrupting. "Where to first?"

"Well, we're already near food. Do you want to eat now or later?"

Pam wasn't sure she could eat yet. The butterflies were still wreaking havoc in her stomach. "Let's eat later. Trust me, you'll work up an appetite after shopping for a few hours."

Jim laughed, "Alright. You said you needed shoes. Let's get you some shoes."

They started walking through the mall in a silence that was anything but uncomfortable. As they passed Hot Topic, Jim playfully pushed Pam inside.

"Jim! What are you doing," she whispered. "I don't belong in here. Look at me!"

"Oh, come on. No one's looking. Besides, I want to look for a CD."

Pam took a deep breath as she followed him to the back of the store. As he looked at CDs, she looked at the different key chains they had hanging on the wall. She was surprised to discover that she didn't recognize any of the characters hanging there, looking back at her.

He finally spoke after a few minutes, "Alright, Beesly. I'm done watching you squirm. Let's get out of here."

"Did you find what you were looking for?"

"Uh…okay, I have a confession to make. I wasn't really looking for a CD. I just enjoy putting others in uncomfortable situations. And since Dwight's not around today, you were my only option. Luckily, I think I've gotten it out of my system now." He faked a sigh and wiped a hand across his forehead.

Pam focused on keeping an agitated expression on her face and marched on towards Macy's, her shoe destination. Then an idea struck her. "Okay, Halpert. Now it's my turn. You shall proceed to follow me to Bath and Body Works."

"Really, Pam? The lotiony, candley place? That's no place for a guy, nevermind a man like me." As he said this, he flexed to show his non-existant muscles. This gesture brought back the butterflies and Pam felt herself blushing which she hid by walking faster towards the store.

The store was packed with women. "Alright, Jim. I just want to take a look at what new scents they have for candles and then we can get out of here."

"No rush. It smells flowery in here. Kind of nice." He flashed her his perfect smile and she had to turn away to hide her own gushy smile.

While she was examining scents, not really looking that closely, she noticed the selection of body sprays next to the candles. Grabbing a sampler bottle, she turned to Jim, who was looking at some of the lotions on one of the center tables. "Hey Jim…" As soon as he turned around, she sprayed the front of his shirt, releasing a sweet, vanilla smell into the air.

"What the…?! Oh, that's immature, Beesly. Even for you." He couldn't keep the look of anger on his face for too long, though, before burst out laughing. "Okay, two can play at that game." He attempted to reach for another bottle but Pam blocked his path. He tried again, going to the right this time but she beat him to it. "Hmmm, I guess you win." He said this in a fake, defeated tone right before grabbing her waist with one hand to hold her back and reaching for one of the bottles with the other. As soon as he touched her side, Pam burst into a fit of giggles.

"Yep, I win," he said, smiling and poking her in her other side, bringing out another fit of giggles.

"Yes! You win, you win!" She yelled, backing away. "Just please stop and let me catch my breath."

"I had no idea you were so ticklish. You're absolutely crimson right now! I'll have to remember this for later use."

"Yeah, well…you smell like a girl." He made as if to come after her again and she quickly retreated from the store. It was for the best, anyway; people were starting to stare.

Again, they started to make their way towards Macy's, where Pam usually shopped for any shoes that weren't her tennies. When they finally got to the shoes, Pam started looking at them half-heartedly. After a few minutes of silence, she looked at him and seeing that he was bored said, "Okay, I'm not seeing anything here that I like."

"You sure, Pam? You said you needed shoes and you didn't look for too long." Truthfully, Jim didn't mind standing there, waiting for her like a lot of men would have. He was surprised (though not a lot) at how much he loved being here with her. They could have been at a salon filled with gossiping women sitting under hair dryers and he still would have loved every minute of it.

"There's just nothing here that's really calling to me," she answered.

"What about these?" He asked this while holding up a pair of gaudy red, high-heeled boots.

"Yeah, those work if you want me to break an ankle!"

Laughing, they walked out of the store and back towards the food court. They were both starving as neither had eaten much that day and it was just past 3:00. After a long discussion about what part of the globe they wanted food from they both decided on Chinese and found an empty table near the far end of the crowded room. They ate in silence for a few minutes; again, it was not an uncomfortable one. For the past few months, the only thing Pam and her friends had discussed was her upcoming wedding. However, as the months passed and Roy had yet to agree on a date, Pam had gotten more and more tired of this topic. In fact, she found herself starting to get angry. Plus, it wasn't like she could talk about that with Jim. She was afraid that if she were to do so, she would start to question her current engagement and she wasn't ready to deal with that.

"Wait," she thought to herself, "Isn't that what I'm doing? Why I'm here?" Still, she couldn't talk about the wedding with Jim.

"What's going on in there, Beesly?" He brought her out of her mind with this question and she found herself struggling to come up with a good answer.

"I was, uh...just watching those people over there." She nodded her head in the direction of a group of young teenagers sporting hair of all different colors, one of whose hair was also cut into a mohawk. Not exactly the most common sight in Pennsylvania.

"So you're a people watcher, too, huh? Wow, I'm learning so much about you today."

"What can I say, I'm an open book," she said with a smile.

"That's okay, I'm actually a people watcher, too. For example, the receptionist at the place I work gets the funniest looks on her face whenever the boss comes to talk to her. It's almost a pained look, like she's straining to keep from hurting him."

"Shut up! I do not! I work very hard to keep my face perfectly composed while talking to Michael."

Acting as if she hadn't spoken, he continued, "And one of the guys is hysterical. You would get a real kick out of him, Pam. He follows our boss around like a love-sick puppy. I'm also pretty sure he's leading a double life. One as Dwight Schrute and another as some kind of super hero. I swear he's got an outfit hidden in the bottom drawer of his desk in case there's an emergency."

At the thought of Dwight in tights Pam burst out laughing, almost spitting out some of the rice she had been chewing on. They spent the next half-hour thinking up ways to prank Dwight such as replacing the black pens in his desk to pink, glitter gel pens and putting black ink on all of the keys on his keyboard so he would dye his fingers. If he didn't discover the ink, they thought they could claim he must have some kind of illness, turning his blood black and making it pool in his hands. It was a long shot, but they were having fun. The time after that was filled with small-talk. Some about other people in the office, but most of it was about other things in their lives. Little things they didn't talk about much while at work. Favorite movies, TV shows, books, that kind of thing. Jim was excited to hear how much they had in common.

Pam glanced at her watch when the conversation had died down a little bit and was shocked to realize that it was already after 5:00. Roy would be getting home soon, expecting her to be sound asleep.

"I hate to cut this short, Jim, but Roy will be coming back soon and I should have dinner ready." She hated herself for lying to him, but it was too late to worry about it now.

"Oh. Okay, then. I guess we have been here for quite awhile. We should probably free up this table for someone else." He wasn't even trying to hide the disappointment in his voice. There really was no hope of that happening.

They walked out of the building and both stared at the sky where the sun was just beginning to set.

"Well, Pam, see you Monday?"

"Yes, I guess so. Thanks for letting me come with you today. It's been a lot of fun. I can't remember the last time I've laughed so hard."

"Same here. I'm really glad you called. If you ever want to do it again…" He let the obvious ending trail off. He couldn't bring himself to say it. It would just get his hopes up and he couldn't let himself keep believing there was something there. If only they lived in another universe; one where she wasn't engaged. "Oh well," he thought, "there's no point in putting any more thought into it."

They stood there then in a more awkward silence. She was the first to break it: "Bye, Jim. Have a good rest of your weekend."

Desperate not to have the day end with this tension, he smiled an evil smile and poked her in the ribs one final time, making her double over in laughter. He then said good-bye to her and began walking to his car. She was still laughing as they went their separate ways.

Pam drove home, singing with the radio the whole way and feeling better than she had in months. The butterflies were fluttering around as if she had given them caffeine. When she pulled into her driveway, though, her happiness started to dissipate. She was now sure that her engagement to Roy Anderson was a mistake, but she wasn't sure how to get out of it, or even if she could. "Stop it," she told herself. "This has been a great day. Why ruin it with stuff that can wait until tomorrow?"

She spent the next twenty minutes trying to make herself look as if she had been resting all day. She changed back into sweats and then went to the mirror to mess up her hair. After using her hair dryer to mess it up, she went to go sit in bed and go back over the events of the day. Not five minutes after covering herself up, she heard a key being put into the lock and quickly picked up a book; she had never been good at pretending to sleep.

She could hear Roy walk quietly through their apartment to their room. He opened their door and seeing that she was awake, walked over to her.

"Hey, Pam. How're you feeling?" He seemed honestly concerned. This only made Pam more confused about her feelings and what she needed to do.

"Better," she replied. "I think all I needed was some sleep. I think I'll stay up with you for awhile and then go to bed early tonight. How was the lake?"

"Good! It was a great day outside. I wish you could have been there." Again, the sincerity in his voice made Pam feel guilty. He spent the next fifteen minutes telling Pam about everything he and Kenny had done, ending with the fact that he had finally decided to leave early so he could go check on her.

Pam didn't sleep much that night…

_I really hope you guys liked this. Unfortunately, I found myself fighting writers' block for some of it so I hope it doesn't show. Please review as I continue this journey between Jim and Pam..._


	4. Chapter 4

_Hey guys. Yet another chapter completed. Thanks again for the reviews. I'm really glad you guys are enjoying the story. Someone asked if the story would now be AU. Like I said before, I'm new to the world of fanfiction and am not entirely sure what AU is. I will admit to looking it up on Wikipedia, but that didn't really help, lol. What I'm trying to say is, this may or may not be AU. In any case, I really hope you like it! _:)

Monday morning. Pam got to work earlier than usual to ensure she would be the first to arrive. She wanted time to get herself settled at her desk before Jim came in. She had spent all of Sunday thinking things over and ultimately decided to stay with Roy. He loved her and she had no proof that Jim felt the same. And it wasn't that she was unhappy with Roy. It was just easier this way.

Jim arrived a couple minutes before nine, same as always. Despite her decision, her heart beat a little faster at the sight of him.

"Hey, Pam," he said as he approached her desk. "I spent all of yesterday sleeping off that massive shopping spree."

Uh-oh. Something Pam hadn't thought of: this couldn't get out into the office. People already thought there was something going on between the two of them and if it somehow got back to Roy, she didn't know what would happen.

She laughed uneasily, trying not to give anything away as she looked around. Luckily, no one else had heard what he said. "Yeah, same here." She was happy when he left it at that and went to his desk.

Jim wasn't as oblivious to her feelings as she thought. Though he had no idea about her lie to Roy, he was aware of what people around the office said. He had heard Phyllis make jokes about it to Pam on more than one occasion and he was pretty sure he knew how it made her feel: uncomfortable. The jokes didn't bother him much. In a strange way, it was almost nice to hear that people at least considered him an option for her. However, in the same way that it was flattering, it also hurt. She was engaged after all. Oh, well; never mind any of that. If Pam didn't want people to know they had spent Saturday together, he would respect that.

"Hey, Dwight. How was your weekend?"

"I don't see how that's any business of yours, Jim. Now, if I were to ask you what you did over the weekend, it would be in your best interest to answer."

Jim was curious to see where this was going. Trying to hide a smirk, he asked, "And why is that?"

Dwight scoffed, "As a volunteer sheriff's deputy, I could make you answer and trust me, you'll wish you had answered willingly."

Okay, so it was going to be one of those days. Jim knew he could press Dwight into going into more detail, but it was only ten past nine and the whole day lay ahead of them. Instead, he picked up his phone and made his first call of the day…

The morning went by just like any other. Michael received a call from corporate around eleven wondering why no one had been in over the weekend. After blurting out random answers that really weren't answers at all, the call was ended and he walked out of his office looking slightly shaken.

"Hey, uh, Jim…would you mind getting to work on that weekend schedule for me?"

"Michael, as Assistant Regional Manager, I think that responsibility should be mine." Dwight, of course.

Michael didn't even seem to notice the mistake in his job title that usually seemed so important. "It doesn't really matter. Just so long as it gets done." With that, he went back to his office and closed the door behind him.

Dwight grinned deviously at Jim. "Hmmm…I wonder who will be working this weekend."

Jim knew he wouldn't be able to hold his tongue for long, so he got up and walked over to the reception desk where Pam was discussing lunch plans with Roy.

"Hey, man. Thanks for letting me borrow Pam on Saturday. I don't know what I would have done without her help picking out ensembles." He was surprised when his sarcasm didn't even get a pity chuckle from Roy. Instead, the look that met his own was one of confusion. Jim quickly glanced over at Pam to see if she had gotten the joke and was surprised to see that her eyes had grown wide and she didn't appear to be breathing. Suddenly, he was incredibly nervous for reasons he wasn't entirely sure of.

"Did you just say that Pam spent Saturday with you?" There was no anger in Roy's voice, only the confusion that echoed the look on his face.

Jim swallowed, "Yes…?"

Roy then looked at Pam, the anger now starting to show in his voice. "Pam, I thought you were sick Saturday. I thought that was why you couldn't go to the lake with me and Kenny."

Now Jim realized what was happening. Pam had lied to Roy. Confusion was slowly replaced by glee as it occurred to him that she had done this for him. She had lied to her fiancé in order to spend the day with him. He stopped himself from thinking along this line any more than that. He didn't think he could bear to have his hopes crushed, though he really couldn't think of another explanation for the whole thing. Meanwhile, Roy was still waiting for Pam to answer.

What came out of her mouth was barely more that a whisper, "I wasn't sick, Roy." Though the statement was obvious and Roy had to have known it was coming, the look of hurt on his face was almost too much for Jim. It _was_ too much for Pam who now had tears brimming in her eyes.

Without saying another word, Pam and Roy just stared at each other. Jim, knowing that neither one even realized he was still there, slowly turned and walked back to his desk. Luckily, the whole altercation had been quiet enough that no one else had noticed what had happened; what was still happening. He couldn't concentrate on his work. Though he never looked back at reception, he kept looking out the sides of his eyes for any sign that things were going to escalate. Nothing happened. For a full five minutes, the couple just stared at each other, each wondering what was going to become of their relationship. Finally, Roy spoke, though it was too quiet for Jim to hear. Pam rose from her desk and without looking at anyone, Jim included, followed Roy out the door, coat in hand. She didn't return from lunch that day.

_I don't want to give anything away, but I feel the need (really, I have to tell you) that there is no violence in this story. So, no, Roy did not do anything abusive to Pam. Phew! Now that that's out of my system, I foresee one more chapter in this story and hopefully it will be written and posted sometime in the next week or two. Until then, all the best!_


	5. Chapter 5

_Here it is. The last chapter of my first story. I'm so thrilled that you guys liked it and I hope you like this, as well. I'm thinking I'll probably write more stories, as I found I really enjoy it so keep your eyes open._

The next day, Jim arrived early, much the same as Pam had done the day before. When Pam came in, she went straight to her desk, not even glancing at anyone else in the office. For a space of ten minutes, Jim fought with himself over whether or not he should go over to her; she had yet to look in his direction, her eyes glued to her computer monitor, her expression unreadable. Finally, Jim decided to wait. He wanted to give her some time to herself, wait until she was ready to talk.

Dwight, however, was unable to pick up on her solemn mood and approached her desk shortly after she arrived. "Pam, you came in today. Given that you were sick the latter part of yesterday, I truly hope you realize what consequences could befall you if you came in today still ill."

Pam barely glanced up from her computer screen, "I feel fine, Dwight."

"Okay, then. If that's the case, you won't mind following me to the break room so I can witness you take your temperature."

That was it; Jim couldn't listen to anymore. He quickly got up from his desk and before Pam had a chance to respond said, "Dwight, I just got an email from Michael asking about the weekend schedule. Did you relinquish that over to me…?"

That was all that needed to be said. Dwight ran into Michael's office and shut the door behind him, blocking out the conversation inside.

"Thanks," Pam said, her attention again focused on her computer screen.

"No problem." Normally, Jim would have made a snarky comment about Dwight, but today it just didn't seem right. Instead he asked, "Are you okay, Pam?"

"Ummm, no. Not really." Now she was looking right at him, staring into his eyes and he could see that they were bloodshot; whether it was from crying, lack of sleep or a combination of both, he couldn't tell.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"It's nothing, Jim. Really. I'll be fine." She tried to smile at him, but could only manage a grimace. He could tell that if he prodded her much further, she was going to cry and he didn't want to do that to her. He gave her a weak smile of his own and returned to his desk.

Lunch came and went and Roy didn't stop by. While everyone else went to go eat, Pam remained at her desk. The others in the office seemed to sense that something was wrong and didn't bother her. Even Michael remained in his office most of the day.

At ten to five, Jim decided to try again. This time, though, he sent her an email. He wanted to give her the opportunity to ignore him if she wanted.

_Pam,_

_If you want to talk, I'll be waiting in the stairwell after work. Please, if you need someone to talk to, I'm your guy._

_-Jim_

He read it over and decided to delete the second sentence. He didn't like the double meaning in the words; he wasn't hers. He hit send and packed up his stuff.

She didn't look up when he left. After a few minutes, he was starting to think she wasn't coming. Kelly, Dwight and a few others passed him as he waited and he had to pretend he had dropped something.

"Maybe she didn't check her email before she left," he thought.

After fifteen minutes of waiting he was sure she wasn't coming, but couldn't bring himself to leave…not yet.

Five minutes later, he was sitting on the landing, trying to force himself to go home when she came and sat down next to him.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey," he responded. Quickly, he tried to think of something else to say, but came up blank.

Luckily, she saved him from his rising guilt by saying, "I just couldn't, you know? Not in the office; not in front of everyone else. Sorry if I caused you any confusion."

He couldn't believe it. She was going through something and yet she was apologizing to him. "Pam, don't. Please don't apologize. What I mean to say is, you have nothing to apologize for. I'm just worried. When you didn't come back yesterday, I didn't know what to think. Are you okay?"

There was a long pause before she answered. He wanted to say something, anything to break the silence but decided against it. She would talk when she was ready and he would wait for her, even if it took all night.

Finally, looking down, she said in a voice so quiet he almost didn't hear her, "It's over."

Her hands were fidgeting with her purse and as he was trying to think of something to say, he noticed that the left one was lacking the engagement ring she had worn since he started there. How had he not noticed earlier?

Stunned, he said, louder than he intended, "Roy broke it off over this? Because we spent one day together? Pam, I'll talk to him. Please let me talk to him. We'll get this straightened out…"

Pam interrupted him by blurting out, "I broke it off, Jim."

"But…why?"

Now she looked at him, "Jim, last Saturday was the most fun I've had in a long time. I don't think I've ever had that much fun with Roy."

Jim was silent, not knowing what to say.

Pam continued, quieter now, looking straight ahead instead of at him, "I know that us hanging out doesn't mean anything. I mean, we're friends. I know that. But, if I have more fun with a friend than I do my own fiancé…I just couldn't stay in that relationship."

She stopped talking; there was no more to say. Jim found himself struggling with his own thoughts. She had said so much in the past few minutes, he wasn't sure what to say that would make her feel better.

"You didn't belong with him, Pam."

She kept staring straight ahead, not acknowledging his statement.

He decided to try again, "He's not right for you and I'm so happy you finally realized that. You need – no, you deserve someone who is interested in the same things you are. Someone who wants to spend time with you over his brother."

Her hands stopped fidgeting with her purse and looked down at her shoes.

"Pam, I had so much fun with you on Saturday." He hoped she would know what he was really saying; hoped that she realized she belonged with him.

She finally looked at him. Then she surprised them both by hugging him. After a few seconds where he was too shocked to move, he hugged her back. They stayed like that for a long time, neither wanting to move.

When she eventually pulled away, he saw that she had tears running down her cheeks. "Jim, I knew that Roy was the wrong guy. I've known for a long time; heck, maybe since you started working here, I don't know. But I stayed with him anyway. It was just safer, you know? He loves – well, loved me and I guess that somewhere deep down I loved him, too. I think the reason I called you Saturday, the reason I lied to Roy, was because part of me had had enough. I mean, what if I had married him? That would have been it and I just couldn't live my whole life like that. But I'm scared now, probably more scared than I've ever been in my life."

She cut herself off from saying anymore. She couldn't believe that she had just said all of that to him, told him why she had been with Roy, told him that she was scared. He didn't say anything. In fact, he actually had a stunned look on his face, like something she had said had really surprised him. Starting to worry, she thought back over what she had said. That's when she realized that she had told Jim she knew she wasn't happy with Roy once he had started working there. Immediately, she could feel her cheeks turning red.

"Jim, I didn't mean—"

"No, Pam. You don't have to say anything." A huge grin broke out on his face as he continued, "Like I said, I've always known that Roy was the wrong guy for you. What I didn't, couldn't, say is that I'm the right guy."

He had finally said it, the thing he had wanted to say for so long now. She didn't respond, just kept looking at him, staring into his eyes. Though he desperately wanted to, he didn't look away. He could tell he was starting to blush at his confession and wished she would say something. She didn't. Instead, she hugged him again and this time he could feel it as sobs shook through her whole body.

Jim didn't speak, he was terrified that what he had said had somehow hurt her. Instead, he sat there, arms around her and internally kicked himself for saying anything at all.

After a few minutes, her sobs subsided. "Jim," she said, her voice barely audible, "I love you."

"I love you, too, Pam."


End file.
